Routine
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Two Essays so far:
How to get out of bed on your own
How to be stronger on your own than couples [Decision making]
Beware of a full Moon shining in your eyes, if only for a short time as it
transits your window. You might consider automatic timers set for indoor
lights to come on and help wake you, especially in deep dark Winter when the
Sun rises later.
That way, when the time comes, your stomach will get hungry and will wake
you with hunger pains.
What other routine noises invade your home? Learn the early morning or late
night times garbage trucks come and go. Paper boys? Noisy buses? Anything
works as long as they are reliably routine. But beware: the world does not
owe you a wake up call. The paper boy can miss a day, the garbage truck can
be delayed, even birds fly away ahead of a storm. It is a combination of
things, used together, that will help you. In urban areas, ignore screaming
sirens during the day, but let a soft routine sound signal you to wake up
We get out of bed because we value our life in some way and find enjoyment
in it. There is something worthwhile about every life. Happiness is created,
more than given. There is more on this topic in my Pursuit of Happiness
subheading.
Problems of getting out of bed:
- Getting out of bed can be a burden.
If you don’t have a job, you may feel useless. But there is much more to life than work. Now is the time to explore that other world.
- If you have a job you hate or suffer with, getting out of bed to face it is very hard. You don’t want to face the problems it presents to you and sleep puts off dealing with it. Getting up and looking for the solution is much healthier. A solution is out there, go find it. It isn’t in your dreams.
- Is there is a hobby you want to spend more time with, or a vacation you want to go on? Does work seem to interfere with your life?
Life is a balancing act. Some things demand more from us than we want them to. Look for ways to balance time, even if it means looking for another job. Consider letting go of some things or finding ways to accomplish them in less time. Some hobbies are just too big for one person alone. Give them to those who have time and facilities to handle them properly and find something smaller you can do better on your own. I have other blogs about hobbies for those living alone. We tend to take on more than we can handle.
- Do you just want to sleep, period?
That is a sign you aren’t getting enough sleep. I think going to sleep is more of a problem for single people than for couples. A single life can drift into a sort of timelessness that floats silently along without any evening routines or other people to break it up and nudge us out of our thoughts. 2am, 3am, 4 am, it all seems the same as 6 pm or 8 pm… the home is static, still, unchanging in time. I think this leads to why some singles hate having an ‘empty’ home and refuse to go there or dread it. These are problems I will discuss in other blogs, such as Pursuit of Happiness and Routine, sorting time.
How to be stronger on your own than couples:
Your 'Ring of Counselors'
Alone, there is no one to bounce ideas off of and no one to give you an objective opinion. The reality is, you do have this, you just have to get up and make the effort to ‘go get it’. It isn’t waiting at home for you. Hopefully, there is time for this before the decision has to be made. If not, try to make time, but don’t procrastinate and refuse to face up to making the decision. Once again, planning ahead will help you.
Seeking opinions and advice is always tricky. Whom do you trust? Who has your best interests at heart? Difficult decisions cover areas of insecurity. When you live on your own, I heavily advise the development of what I call a ‘Ring of Counselors.’ It is a group of people and a set of reference books to advise you as need.
The Ring of Counselors should cover general
Having Reference books on your shelf at home covering these areas is very helpful. Include a dictionary with them. Just hopping on the internet can bring you quick advice, but a familiar book you already trust and have chosen as reliable and trustworthy can be a comfort. The internet is never more frustrating than when you are desperate for facts.
As for people to include in your Ring, include a
Even the poorest among us can call upon local social organizations for free legal, financial and medical advice. Check the yellow pages and research now for internet Links to such sources. These need to be local however, not somewhere in the wide world of the internet.
Elderly: When you are elderly, you can live in a senior home which may include a resident nurse and counselor for the tenants, with visiting lawyers giving advice now and then.
Students: Universities have nurses and counselors for their students.
Workers: Many corporations have them for their employees.
These are good first choices, but I advise seeking more. Find one good, truly objective personal counselor to talk to, that is private and not at all part of your routine life. Someone you can talk to about anything at anytime. This will be the most difficult to find. Make it a personal quest. Consider making it a group of people, one here and there covering different areas of life. They can be professionals, or just friends.
Collect all these books, addresses and phone numbers ahead of time to have ready ‘in time of need’. Study the books and visit the people to familiarize yourself with them. Learn the ropes of how they operate and what they cover. This will add to your self confidence even if you never use them. It will also help you make difficult decisions and handle stressful situations as they arise with more ease. You won’t be so ‘alone.’
